New Year’s Day 1959 ushered in the Notts and Jocks first fatality. Not a heroic KIA (Killed in Action) but a drunken RTA (Road Traffic Accident) with a tragic dimension.
Two ‘D’ Corporals returning to camp after celebrating New Year in Cha’ah overturned their sports car. The driver died in the crash and the passenger, Big Ned, was thrown clear and survived with barely a scratch.
At the time of the crash the dead Corporal’s wife was aboard TT Nevasa, en route to Singapore to join her husband. At least, unlike the wives of other married soldiers who lost their lives in Malaya, she had the consolation of being present at her husband’s funeral in the Kranji Military Cemetery in Singapore.
As for Big Ned, on being returned to ‘D’ Company camp, he took umbrage at being told he would be placed in detention pending the outcome of the inquiry into the crash. A six-foot-three well-muscled giant of a man with a Yul Brynner hairstyle, he laid into the members of the guard who tried to escort him to the cell. He knocked two of them unconscious, before he was finally incarcerated.
Next morning appearing on Company Commander’s Orders he lost his two stripes. These had been earned in recognition of his leadership as a section commander during jungle operations when in Perak in 1958. He was then transferred to Battalion HQ in Batu Pahat. Here he was placed on open arrest under the supervision of the Provost Sergeant pending a decision on whether he would be court-martialled over the car crash.
‘Big Ned’ missing
After three weeks he’d had enough of being confined to camp. He had to report his presence at five parades a day starting at Reveille, and finishing with 2200hrs Staff Parade. Teaming up with ‘Nog’ Norris, a Lance Corporal with only five days to serve before sailing home, Big Ned hit the town. His absence was quickly discovered on Staff Parade. The Provost Sergeant, accompanied by the Guard Commander, Sergeant ‘Farmer’ Wardle, set off in search of Ned. They first encountered a trishaw driver holding his bleeding head.
‘Big soldiers, no pay, bash me,’ he said pointing in the direction of Lulu’s Bar.
Here the two Sergeants found Ned and Nog and attempted to arrest them. After the Provost Sergeant had been whacked around the head a couple of times by Big Ned’s fist encased in a webbing belt, ‘Farmer’ Wardle adopted the ‘Good Cop’ role sending the Provo back to camp. He placated the recalcitrant pair, offering to buy them another beer and taking them back to camp in a taxi.
Detainment in camp was only the start of it
But that wasn’t the end of it. In fact, it was just the start of it. On arrival at the Guard Room, Ned took exception to the Duty Sergeant telling he and Nog they were to be detained in the cell overnight. After thumping the Duty Sergeant, he burst into the off-duty guards’ sleeping quarters. Ned then picked up the tea urn and hurled it across the room. The off-stag members of the guard were forced to scramble out of the window openings, leaving their rifles behind. Once again ‘Farmer’ Wardle came to the rescue. He offered to bring the pair egg banjos from the chah wallah’s if they agreed to go into the cell. They did, and that should have been the end of it, but Ned had other ideas.
Shortly after being incarcerated, and with no egg banjos forthcoming, they dismantled a bed and attempted to batter the door down with a bedhead. A Land Rover was driven around to light up the scene of the mayhem with its headlights. By this time the Orderly Officer had been summoned. He mustered the Fire Piquet and ordered them to turn the fire hose on the corrugated iron godolphin surrounded by barbed wire that served as the cell. The mayhem abated – but not for long!
Nog tries a new strategy to break from detainment
After about an hour, Nog tried a new ploy. Using the bedhead again, he dislodged a section of the corrugated iron roofing. With Ned’s assistance from below, he attempted to haul a mattress up onto the roof. The idea was to place it over the barbed wire as a means of escape. Once again, the fire hose came into play. The water drove Nog back inside, where he and Ned resumed their intermittent onslaught on the door.
Tired and hungover, Ned and Nog were roused at Reveille. They were dispatched under armed escort to the Army Detention Centre in Singapore, and Nog’s berth on the Empire Fowey was cancelled. And that really should have been the end of it – but it wasn’t! After serving six months in the Army Detention Centre in Singapore, Big Ned returned to the battalion. After teaming up with ‘Alf the Nutter’, he would go on to cause even more mayhem.
Read all about Big Ned’s later exploits in Misadventures with Coco-Oscar, available now.
